Amanita experience - Saturday 18th November 2006
Alone a home, at about 7.00 pm, I took 6 grams [about four good sized caps] of thoroughly dried vapak, (Amanita muscaria), gathered two weeks earlier in a birch wood in Essex (UK).
I dedicated myself to the spirit of Raven and the mushroom itself, and then took the vapak in two 3 gram doses over about an hour and a half. Each time I made up two good-sized cups of mushroom tea and drank them over about half an hour, also chewing down the reconstituted mushrooms.
After the first dose I turned the lights down, relaxed and waited for the spirit of the mushroom to make itself known to me. Slightly anxious as one often is after taking a psychoactive, I soon felt the presence of the benign spirit of the mushroom and started to relax. As usual the initial effects were sedative and soon I lay down and closed my eyes, relaxation increasing each time I exhaled deeply through my chest and abdomen. I entered a dreamy state and felt a general relaxing effect and release/awareness of previously unconscious somatic/psychic tensions. There were no strong visual effects but a general sense of depth and visual movement with eyes closed – a sense of being in ‘another space’.
I put on some favourite music of mine for accompanying altered states, Walking Through by Kaya Project (highly recommended). Almost immediately I had to start beating time, but the noise of my hands clapping was initially annoying, until I found a technique that produced an acceptable sound. I wished I had some wooden claves (cylindrical woodblocks) for beating time with me and pretty soon I realised I had to dance. Walking Through was ideal and I quickly discovered Raven dance, Bear dance and Drunken Man dance, watching my own shadows cast on the wall by the firelight as if it were another person. The dance was something ancestral, not just ‘me’, and I realised how much catharsis we are missing when we don’t engage in such practices in modern industrialised cultures. I wished I was in a group, in some natural setting, able to drum, chant and dance all night long.
I’d started at about 7.00 pm. And soon after 8.00 pm I realised I was ready for the second dose. I prepared it and finished drinking it by about 9.00 pm. I again felt a bit sleepy after the second dose and I rested again. I rested and danced several times throughout the evening. Although I had fasted on other occasions, this time, because I had been out all day without eating, I had eaten about an hour before taking the mushrooms. Nonetheless I felt hungry several times throughout the evening. I finished off the salmon fishcakes and spinach I prepared earlier and later, hungry again I ate nuts, honey, yoghurt, pears and finally some chocolates my wife had bought me! This felt a bit indulgent, but I realised that I was more relaxed than I had been for sometime, lying down in the softly lit embryonic darkness. I was floating in that comforting state of enclosed, protective state of ‘otherness’ that trips can bring.
Once I was well into the experience, each time I got up to go to the kitchen or take a piss I realised that I was pretty stoned. It’s hard to define the effect in terms of vapak say psilocybe mushrooms, weed or whatever. Though it shares certain characteristics with other psychoactive plants, vapak brings a recognisable ‘drunkenness’ of its own kind. I’ve not experienced anything like psilocybe or LSD type visual hallucinations on vapak, but there are distinctive visual changes and in the firelight the shadows take on a muted life of their own. Under the influence of vapak , drumming, singing or dancing and the vapak experience itself are strongly mutually enhancing facilitating an otherworldly journey.
So far I have found vapak a gentle meditative trip rather than strictly ‘psychedelic’ kind of experience. However, a stronger dose and more drumming, chanting etc might push through to another level. As any experienced psychonaut knows, where psychoactive substances are concerned, ‘more’ in terms of dosage does not necessarily mean ‘more of the same’. A stronger dose can mean a complete change of gear, pushing through to another room, to another quite different and less manageable dimension of the experience. That naïve and greedy desire for ‘more of the same’ can push you through into a space for which you are quite unprepared. Ouch!
By around 11.00 pm I was ready for bed, went upstairs and lay down. I don’t remember falling asleep. I didn’t properly wake until about 10:00 in the morning. I was pretty groggy. Hung-over, I think, from so much sleep as much as the mushroom. I came down stairs made tea, put on some music, called my wife on her cell phone, and then set to writing this down.
All the best from
dzango
PS: Just as I finish writing, my brother telephoned me and we chatted about my experience. I feel somewhat exhilarated talking about it and realised that perhaps I was still slightly under the influence. The sun was shining, autumn leaves were falling. It was time to make some coffee, shower and collect my wife from the airport.
PPS: For the next couple of days I felt a slight but definite feeling of enhanced well-being and improvement of mood. This is an experience that I’ve definitely had following the use of Salvia Divinorum.
PPS: Dzango is researching ethnic and neo-pagan use of vapak and interested in collecting descriptions of Amanita m. trips. As well as posting you can email me through Tribe if you wish. I may try to set up a website for this purpose.